I’m still learning how to chew

Hi I'm Chelsea and I'm still learning how to chew. I use healthy eating to sooth myself and release dopamine by eating fast. I tend to hork meals down without chewing my food completely. I'm always the first one done a meal-and guess what-I have a leaky gut!

Did you know you can tell if you have a leaky gut by checking out your poo? If you see undigested particles in your poo that is usually a tell tale sign that the gut lining has some holes in it and needs repair.

When I slow down to chew my food to a mush, I get an emotional response, usually of sadness and stress with each mouthful.

During a recent meal I had an epiphany and realized that mealtimes were very stressful growing up. Dinners were filled with a lot of tears, anger, yelling and stress. I used to read at the table to soothe myself and escape my pain and was scolded for not participating in dinner time. I was also threatened with physical abuse at the dinner table, as well as verbally abused. I was often in a fight-fight-freeze state while eating. Because of this, I tend to eat meals so fast that I get a dopamine rush and emotionally escape from whatever is present. This has also looked like, binge eating a jar of nut butter, and stuffing my face with organic Honey Mama's chocolate. (It doesn't matter if it's McDonalds freedom fries or a whole container of hummus-emotional eating takes many forms.)

I know for a fact this stressed eating has been happening for generations. My father was also forced to eat horrible foods he didn't want to eat (naturally-as they were not good for his health) and was made to sit at the dinner table until he finished them. He also experienced verbal and physical abuse at the dinner table. I imagine his father and his father's father also had scarcity and stress while eating for generations.

Although this stress has been passed down, it now ends with me. At my beautiful table with fall flowers, jazz music, slowly chewing my food to a mush, getting parasympathetic, allowing the old feelings and generational trauma to come up, and seeing it with love and a whole lot of compassion with some digestive enzymes on the side